Live Like Nobody Is Judging (Because They Probably Are Too Busy Judging Themselves)
10 Tips For Getting Comfortable In Your Own Skin
By Holistic Health Honey (aka Cindra Banks)
I went running in a sports bra the other day. And I felt completely uncomfortable.
As I began to run along a popular beach path in my hometown, I started to feel deeply self-conscious.
The beach was relatively empty, but I felt like those that I passed were staring at me. The few cars that drove past I could have guaranteed were judging me.
On came the downward spiral of negative thoughts towards my body. The body that could easily run 5 kilometres, that could teach yoga 2-3 hours a day as well as practice, that carried me through a gym workout with strength.
Yes, that body I tore apart with my disparaging thoughts.
In reality, I knew I looked okay. Besides, who really cared what other people think?
And have for as long as I can remember.
I was about 6, debut performance for physical culture. Mum had layered on my orange-looking, foul-smelling tan, my hair was slicked back, my uniform perfectly in place.
I performed the routine with all my might and afterwards, my class lined up to receive our certificates.
As they started to announce prizes, I got more and more anxious as I wasn’t hearing my name. I was reassured by my best friend Georgina standing by my side, who also hadn’t received anything as yet.
My little world came crashing down when they awarded Georgina a bag of lollies with her certificate. When they finally got to me, all I got was that lousy certificate, awarded to everyone who participated.
I felt like a complete failure and had an immediate meltdown. Why did everyone else get a prize but me?
When we arrived home, I went straight to my room and sobbed my eyes out. I wrote on the back of my certificate, in messy 6 year old script, “I am no good”.
Right in that moment, I was cementing an affirmation that I tried to fight for the next twenty-three years of my life.
Throughout my childhood, I continued to try new sports, only to quit a year later when I wasn’t the best on the team. I strived to be the best in my classes at school, as I knew then I wouldn’t be disappointed with myself.
After leaving school, I tried my hand at 3 different degrees, only to abandon them for easier jobs or courses that I knew I could succeed in. I tried various career paths; Journalism, acting, PR, running a music business and styling, self-sabotaging every one.
I made failure my enemy. I punished myself for not being the best, the most successful, the prettiest, the smartest, the most creative.
I continually compared myself to my friends who had followed through with a degree and subsequent job, whilst I was still a student or living on a minimum wage. The only thing I ever stuck to was retail management, because I knew I couldn’t fail. It was safe. I was safe.
Here, I continued to punish myself for not doing something more with my life. I even compared myself constantly with my wife.
Searching for something more, I stumbled across a podcast that changed my life.
Motivation sparked within me to pursue a career in holistic health coaching and yoga, where I could help others who were facing some of the challenges I did.
I didn’t want anyone to have to endure the same pain that I was working hard to overcome.
Undoing twenty-three years of negative self-talk was not a simple task. Giving yourself true worth and love is absolutely a life long practice.
For me, I have great days and still, not so great days. Nobody is perfect. I take each day as it comes, and when it goes, I learn and let it go.
My 10 Simple Ways To Bring More Love Into Your Life:
1. Repeat three times, morning and evening, “I love myself”.
2. Give yourself a hug
3. Smile at yourself in the mirror
4. Each evening, write one awesome thing that you did or that happened to you that day, no matter how small.
5. Get outside. Connect with nature. Take your shoes off. Stand in the sun.
6. Dance. Just move without thinking. Get your groove on, whether you have it or not.
7. Tell someone else how much you love them.
8. Be completely alone, in a quiet place if possible. Sit and focus on breathing in and out.
9. Laugh. Find a silly YouTube video, watch a funny TV show or movie. Don’t take things so seriously.
10. Think about how amazing it is to be on this earth, as you, just as you are.